Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So after my cathartic post I am feeling lighter. Thank you for your kind words and support.

Late last night I got a call from a friend of ours who is getting ready to move up to Chicago (6 hours north) and he asked if we want his queen size bed and box spring, we just need rails. I said of course! So we got that today from them and visited a while. Later,we ran back into town and did some errands. On the way back home I see a bedroom furniture set sitting on the side of the road. Long story short we got a huge dresser a nightstand/cabinet thing and an amoire for free. They had been in storage for 2 years and are in really good condition. I just got done cleaning them out. I will get pictures tomorrow.

Also, I received my first seed catalog today. I need to find my leftover seeds and check them out.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Help me....I dont understand

Im at my wits end. I've avoided posting because things just haven't been good here and I didn't want to talk about it. So I thank you in advance for listening to me. Bill got cleared to go back to work on the 15th only to get laid off along with 23 other people. He is going to get unemployment but it hasn't kicked in yet. But there is that inbetween where all there is is my paycheck. The worst part of this whole mess is that the Teen is pregnant again. I've tried so hard guys you have no idea. I tried to talk to her and her dad...I pushed for the goddamn birthcontrol that she dragger her feet on. I feel hurt and betrayed (again) and I feel like she did this on purpose (and have been told the same by other people who came to talk to me about the situation as the pregnancy and other information got around) But I will say no more Im so tired, hurt and raw.

Outside of that there is other crap going wrong. Bill is behind on child support, there are issues going on with the boys' mother and a VERY real possibility that they could be coming to live with us if shit doesnt change. The damage to my car hasn't been fixed as I can't afford the deductible and no one has ever gotten back with us about the other driver. My poor car is falling apart......the brakes are grinding, not squealing, she needs an oil change and a tranny flush...she's slowly creeping up to the 100,000 mile mark. There is little to no money left over after mortgage and bills for much else and I had to hit the food pantry a couple times. I know its what is for....I know that I have done more than my share of donating to that and other things and that its ok but sometimes.....

The stress levels here have been insane at times. Bill is miserable and he tries so hard. He has been doing so much around the house as he can. He is no slouch but the stress has been getting to him for some time and now all this. We have been talking, trying to not snap at each other, trying to support each other but I worry about us as well are fuses have gotten shorter than what they naturally are.

I've been trying, Im trying to pick up cleaning jobs and what not, I've been trying to be frugal but then mess up. My mind goes blank, I just don't think like I use to. And it's winter to boot.
Someone tell me what to do, I don't know what to do. I know there are things I should be doing that I just can't think of.