Working through it

Yesterday and part of today I found myself in that rut of "What the hell am doing with my life?"  I felt overwhelmed and without any control.  I was questioning my ability to do the suburban/urban farmer thing, beating myself up over my cowardice to tackle the chicken ordinances and feeling like a hypocrite for encouraging other people to do things for themselves. I worry about money (but who doesn't?) I want everything done right now and I just dont have the funds to do it.  I also want to not have to worry about being able to do some things for myself (I need new jeans) and extra stuff like go out for my birthday.  My birthday is in a little over a month and I will be 32.  Typing that out just doesnt look right to me but there it is, 32. Wow, yay me for surviving the wacky world that long eh? :) Speaking of wacky...............

My mother is coming!!! YAY!! And she's staying until Sunday!! Double YAY!! Tomorrow I have to get the extra room ready for her, she took Friday off so she didn't have to rush down here.  It's a 3hr drive from Decatur to De Soto so I think she'll arrive somewhere around or after noon. It will be another supercharged weekend. Friday I am suppose to go and help my coworker and her mom set up the Square Foot Garden beds.  Saturday and Sunday is the Southern Illinois Irish Fest in Carbondale and all of us who do medieval fantasy fighting aka Dagorhir will be out hamming it up for the crowds.  Mom and Helen are taking pictures so Im sure I will have some to share. I will be trying to fit a party in Saturday night, and yeah my mom's invited too.  My friend is holding a post Irish Fest party at his place and has some really good mead he wants to try out on all of us.  Yay for friends who make their own mead!